C(haos)

Do you feel it? Do you taste it? Do you smell it? 

It's here. I will invite him over coffee. 

Take a sit. I will bring the coffee ( with a bit of milk just how you like it)

C( haos): I am lost here in your mind. I am afraid I cannot offer you anything and you need to let me go. 

A: no. I need the magic. I need those mountains. I need that conversation. I need our plans. I need my enthusiams. You brought all that. You broke all that...

C( haos) : you are wonderful, you know that? 

She answered yes but she didn't feel it. 

A: why do you want to leave? I made the bed, see? I cooked for you some pasta, and hold you when you were weak. I fed you with coffee and kisses and love. And music. And smiles. Why do you want to leave? Look at these books. Look at these memories. Why do you want to leave? 

C( haos): is my heart. My poor heart. And is me. And is you. And there are  827 reasons between us. And it's the hurt you are feeling. And it's the death that I am feeling. 

A: But I can heal it. Let me heal it. I can make it better, see? I always fixed things but then broke myself... I can't stand it. Why are you walking away? The door is locked. You are in chains. There's no way out. 

C(haos): I will explode if I stay here. Keep the books, keep the memories, keep the list. Keep the t'shirt but let me go. Heal yourself and let me go. 

A: ... I am lost. I loved it here with you. Us inside my mind. I loved it until it broke me. 

A starts to cry, the same type of cry she had when she was a baby, when the pain was too much. That cry that makes your chest be teared apart. She yells: just go, throws the keys to C(haos). 

C(haos): You have all. Just take it. Enjoy it. Live it. You have it all 

A: Except you.

This story ends just like any other story( just like so many before this one and for so many people). To let C(haos) go, you first need to rip yourself into pieces. And then you pick it , one by one and you glue yourself ( different shape, different smell, different taste) but still you.